In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
