Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
