I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
