singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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