I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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