I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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