Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
