WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Come see our sink grown plant.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize