Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
