Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
