i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
