I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Never joke about your clitoris.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
