She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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