you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
