good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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