listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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