for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize