real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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