There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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