I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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