I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I need water and some morals
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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