don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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