Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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