so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
