I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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