you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
