how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize
