yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
