it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
