I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
