You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
