dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
