I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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