i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My feet surprised me
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