dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
