I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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