problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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