Swine flu. Run for my life!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
