We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
