we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
