I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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