he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
pop tarts are not kleenex
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Randomize
