Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
