my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
