dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
