Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
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you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
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Bang-toberfest begins!!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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