should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
where are my eyebrows?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
