yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I have already put on my inside pants.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
