Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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