I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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