Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
