I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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