Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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