you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
