saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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