i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
