I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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