I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
