she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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