this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
