it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
