Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
