The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
