i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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