I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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